Make 1:1s matter
A practical framework for engineering managers
A big topic of debate among engineering managers is whether or not to have 1:1s with their engineers. Some embrace the stereotypical introversion of engineers and avoid 1:1s out of respect for their nature, while others strongly believe in the importance of regular 1:1s.
Even among those who value 1:1s, there are debates over:
Cadence: Weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, etc.
Leading the session: Should the manager define the agenda, or the engineer?
Main topic: Should the 1:1 focus on work or on the engineer's Personal Development Plan (PDP)?
In this article, we offer a practical framework. You'll learn not just why 1:1s matter, but how to make each conversation truly impactful, helping you meet your engineers where they are, uncover hidden challenges, and guide them toward meaningful growth. Whether you manage one engineer or twenty, these insights will help you maximize the value of your limited time and become a multiplier for your team's success.
Why?
We believe 1:1s are one of the most important tools an engineering manager can leverage. They create a safe space for important topics, constructive feedback, and learning. Most importantly, they are the best opportunity to ensure the health and happiness of your engineers.
It's your chance to understand the components that make your team tick.
Why not?
There are valid reasons why an engineering manager might choose to reduce the frequency of 1:1s. For instance, if you're managing 20 engineers, holding weekly 30-minute sessions with each would consume 10 hours of your week, a significant time investment. While those conversations are incredibly valuable, some senior engineers may require less frequent check-ins, making it practical to adjust the cadence in a way that benefits both you and your team members.
Additionally, some engineers naturally prefer asynchronous communication, like written updates, chat, or team meetings over one-on-one conversations. For those who are more introverted or who haven't yet built a strong rapport with their manager, 1:1s can sometimes feel intrusive or uncomfortable. Managers may worry that pushing too hard for these meetings risks disengagement if the approach isn't thoughtful.
That said, we strongly advise against skipping 1:1s altogether. Regular face-to-face time remains essential for truly understanding how your engineers are doing and for fostering trust and connection that can't be replicated in group settings or written communication.
Tips & Tricks
The 1:1 is meant for your engineers' well-being and personal development. Here are some ideas to help you shape your 1:1s:
What would Maslow do?
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a useful mental model for running effective 1:1s. It describes how human needs are layered, from the most basic (food, shelter) to growth and fulfillment.
Here's a simplified version:
Physiological needs: Food, water, rest, shelter
Safety needs: Personal and financial security, health, stability
Belonging and love: Relationships, friendship, connection
Esteem: Recognition, respect, achievement
Self-actualization: Growth, purpose, personal potential
When your engineers show up to a 1:1, they're somewhere on that ladder. Your job is to meet them where they are—and help them move up.
If someone is struggling with basic or safety needs, they're not ready to talk about long-term growth. They need support and empathy. Once those needs are met, 1:1s become a platform for deeper topics: Team belonging, recognition, skill-building, and personal development.
Ask yourself:
Where is this person on the ladder today and how can I help them climb?
Have a Gemba mindset
Gemba Kaizen is a Japanese concept meaning "continuous improvement at the real place", where the work happens.
For engineering managers, this means using 1:1s to understand the real challenges your engineers face day-to-day, not just high-level updates, but the frustrations and blockers they encounter.
A good question to ask:
What's something frustrating you right now that I might not be aware of?
This invites your engineer to share real pain points and shows you're invested in making their work smoother.
Feedback Culture
If you're building a culture of feedback, 1:1s are invaluable. Feedback should flow both ways. Be open and receptive to feedback about your management style or team dynamics, and provide timely, constructive feedback to help your engineers grow.
Radical Candor, coined by Kim Scott, is a great framework: care personally, challenge directly. Show empathy and concern, but also be clear and honest about areas for improvement. This balance builds trust and accelerates development.
Tips for cultivating feedback in your 1:1s:
Ask for feedback regularly: "What's one thing I could do differently to support you better?"
Be specific and timely with your feedback.
Balance praise with areas for growth.
Use feedback as a conversation starter, not a lecture.
Follow up on feedback to show you're invested in their development.
If your company uses tools like a Manager Performance Survey (MPS), 1:1s are an excellent opportunity to review and discuss feedback results in a personal, nuanced way.
Building a feedback culture takes time and consistency, but when done well, it transforms 1:1s from routine check-ins into powerful growth sessions.
Have an Agenda
As with any meeting, come with an agenda. This serves as a backbone for the conversation and ensures important topics aren't forgotten.
Our template is based on the concepts we've just discussed, and it can be adapted to fit your team's needs.
How are you? Happy and healthy?
Start by understanding the engineer's mental state. If they're not in the right headspace, address that first. Sometimes, just giving them space to talk helps them move forward.
Anything I can do for you?
Open yourself to supporting the engineer's needs. Your job is to help them be their best selves, and you can only do that by understanding what they need.
Day to day
Discuss day-to-day work. Engineers may want to share challenges or interesting learnings. Touch on this to get a sense of how things are going.
Personal development
This is the most important section. Help your engineers grow. If they have a PDP, ensure they're making progress. Use this time for coaching and clarifying next steps.
Translation
Part of your role is to translate strategy into tactics. Provide updates on new topics or changes relevant to your engineers. The clearer the "why", the more interested and accountable they'll become.
Dynamic topics
Sometimes, you'll want to uncover or address issues that have surfaced (e.g., from an MPS) or discuss recent company updates. Bring these topics up at the end of the 1:1, so the engineer is in the right headspace to discuss them.
Conclusion
1:1s are a powerful tool for engineering managers. With the right mindset and structure, they become more than just a meeting; they're a platform for growth, feedback, and real connection.